A goodbye

"Don't assume."

Isn't that what we were always told, be it by teachers, parents, bosses ... even friends? I know I heard it a bajillion times. Even on a number of occasions from a science teacher in high school, who spelled out the "ASS-U-ME" reasoning on the blackboard, which was cutting-edge, grab-their-attention stuff back then.

Well, I assumed. Quite a few in my group of friends did. No one was technically made an ass of in this case. No, this time, our assumptions ... MY assumption, anyway ... simply left a hole that will never be filled.

I'm not sure of our numbers. I've described our group over the years from a half-dozen to 20 or so. For me, it started with a couple of the guys I met back in the early 1990s, then grew to encompass several people they were close to and so on. A number of others joined over the years, although that's hardly a good description. I guess we "absorbed" them more than anything. Friendship came as natural as breathing to this bunch.

There was an inner circle of sorts, a number who had known one another since childhood, who shared a closeness on a little bit higher level. But make no mistake, we were all close. Several of us shared a roof at one time or another. We went on vacations together. We celebrated (boy, did we) birthdays, holidays, triumphs and even a falling or two.

More than anything, we celebrated friendship on a level I've known no other time in life.

There were fairly frequent parties when just about all of us were present. There were events, such as the Margarita Ball. And in between, we always knew that on just about any given night, we could walk into our little neighborhood bar and find one, two or 10 of the others.

I guess that made it easy to assume.

As time is wont to do, our gatherings slowly decreased in frequency. There was marriage or serious relationships, kids even. Some moved to the other side of town, one out of the country. Some just got busy with life, you could say.

We'd still see each other, bump into one or two at our bar or talk once in a while. There were a handful of get-togethers, when our hair again came down, we laughed tears at the memories, then shook hands or embraced, bidding farewell til the next time.

And we went on assuming there'd always be a next time.

Of course, there was. For all but one of us.

Most of the group just spent the better part of a week together. But this gathering culminated yesterday in our saying a final goodbye to one of the group, one of the inner-circle.

One of us.

A few had seen her the week before. For some, it had been much longer, and I know in my case, that made everything seem a little more difficult.

We laughed a lot in those seven days. Cried a lot, too. Kicked ourselves a little or a lot for our assumption that there'd always be a next time.

Some of us made a pact. Our next time needs to be sooner than later. The next time we all see each other again, we said a number of times in a number of different ways, can't again be for this reason.

I want to believe that's going to be the case, that we'll follow through and make the relatively little time and effort it will take.

Cause I assumed the last time we all gathered, several months ago, that when I said goodbye to Dina early that evening (and gave her grief for cutting out early), it wouldn't be the last time. I assumed I wouldn't find myself questioning why, in an entire summer, I hadn't taken the time or we hadn't taken the time ... or something.

I don't want to make that mistake again. I don't want any of us to.